Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love

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Jessica’s work is a breath of fresh air. Blending both a clinical and spiritual approach, this book helps us understand the nuances of modern relationships and provides a no-nonsense roadmap for healing our relationships by healing ourselves.” You could also try a new hobby, like drawing, kayaking, or hiking. Anything that makes you recharged, nurtured, and healthy can be considered self-care and can help you on your journey to transforming your attachment style. Consider Therapy Abandonment: They have an intense fear of being abandoned and rejected. To cope with this fear, anxious individuals tend to cling to their partners. They can be demanding, jealous, and controlling. Although the aim is to keep their partner close and avoid abandonment, this can result in their partner pulling away, confirming their fears. We don’t get to choose the people we grow up around, or the environment we grow up in as children, but we do get to choose the people that we want to become, and the people we want around us in adulthood. Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum's signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how

Distrust: Anxious individuals generally distrust other people and themselves. They are haunted by the belief that others do not love them as much as they do and that they will eventually reject and abandon them. They do not trust their ability to cope with life and fear being alone. A securely attached role model can help you to learn how to feel more secure in relationships. It could be a friend, partner, or mentor who gives you insight into what a securely attached relationship looks and feels like. The first step in transforming these beliefs into more helpful ones is self-awareness. That means becoming conscious of the maladaptive beliefs you may hold about yourself and others, as well as identifying your emotional triggers.Defectiveness: Anxious individuals tend to believe they are “broken” and unworthy of love. They search for confirmation of this belief, making them hypervigilant to signs that their partner does not love them or thinks they are not good enough. Although these maladaptive beliefs are coping mechanisms that served a purpose growing up, they can have a negative impact on one’s well-being and ability to form healthy relationships. PDF / EPUB File Name: Anxiously_Attached_-_Jessica_Baum.pdf, Anxiously_Attached_-_Jessica_Baum.epub Jessica walks you through a spiritual journey in this book. Anxiously Attached covers complex topics around codependency, and the way she explains them makes these topics easy to understand. Jessica’s work helps you feel supported through all levels of transformation.” Instead, when you are experiencing anxiety that you perceive to be caused by your partner’s behavior, turn your attention inward, rather than on the other person.

Not only did it teach me about the different attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. It also taught me how to identify my core wounds and begin to heal them, so that they don’t affect the current relationships in my life, or any future ones I might enter. Developing a more secure attachment is entirely possible but it’s a journey that requires hard work, patience, and compassion. Here is some advice to get you started: Make Time for Self-Care It is hard, with topics relating to psychology, self, and love, to discuss them in a way that is gentle, informative, scientific, and also inherently spiritual. But Jessica Baum manages it here. Perhaps in part because it is coming from the perspective of both a therapist with case studies to hand, but also an anxiously attached human with her own personal experiences. It is both scientific and descriptive but equally empathetic, caring, and supportive. This is an incredible relationship book that combines several of the things I love- inner child work (which the author calls working with Little Me 🥺) IFS (through working with 'Inner Protector' parts) and nervous system science (moving through the autonomic system responses in your relationship). With Anxiously Attached, Jessica Baum shares relatable, real-life insights into the underlying relationship issues faced by so many in our era of disconnection. Her empowering, actionable tools for becoming ‘self-full’ take the self-love and self-care movements to the next level.”Learn the true meaning of a healthy/interdependent relationship and how to establish one with their partner or future partner. Once you are aware of these automatic thoughts and behaviors, you will get better at recognizing them in the moment and actively challenging them. Learn to Trust Yourself Jessica wholeheartedly puts her full self into everything she does, and this book is a gift to your true self. Self-love is the foundation for a fulfilling and balanced life. Readers, you’re in for a beautiful treat.” From the start to the end, I felt validated in ways that I haven't really felt before, in ways that took the difficult parts of myself and my relationship with attachments, abandonment, and connections and gave it understanding. The other struggle for us comes in the form of the popular message that being loved by another is what determines our worth—something many of us have found resonates with our core wound. Our Little Me can’t help but believe, Well, if this partner loves me, then I must be worthy of love. After all, this is what we have been waiting for since childhood: someone to love us so we see our worth reflected in their eyes. Rather than risk finding out that this partner can’t love us, we overextend, ignore our own needs, and squash down our anger because it might push our partner away. In other words, we become selfless to protect ourselves from feeling once again that we are unworthy of love. Between what our culture has taught us and what we have experienced as children, our Inner Protectors push and push: “You must try harder, do more, lose more weight to prove to them that you are worthy.” But the truth is that real self-worth comes from within, and from an inner knowing that you have nothing to prove, and that you are always worthy of love. Doing this work is when we discover that we are neither “less than” or “better than” anybody else—that we are, in fact, “just right” as we are.